THE DIPLOMACY ZOO
Text by Guy Hail
Artwork by Elizabeth Hail
From Diplomacy World #31
1. The Invariant Vulture
The Vulture is a player who has made his mind up about whom to attack. After that he will not change his mind, no matter what the circumstances or what agreement you offer. He regards any attempt at negotiation or friendship to be part of a strategy for counter-attack.
2. The Rapacious Rodent.
The Rodent is a player who regards those weaker than himself as little more than neutrals such as Serbia. Instead of allying wit the weak against the strong, he always allies with the strong against the weak. This almost always results in a drawn game. The Rodent also regards any attempt at neutralizing an area unworkable because he believes no player can be trusted to act as promised, even if the agreement is to the other player’s advantage.
3. The Weak-Willed Warbler
The Warbler is a player who, when attacked, promptly hands over his entire country to your enemies in an attempt to promote discord even though he will no longer be in the game. He will only defend against you, even though others threaten him.
4. Elsie Coughlan.
Elsie is the pet (or mascot, or whatever) of Gary Coughlan, editor of EUROPA EXPRESS. She doesn’t play Diplomacy but just dropped by to watch the others. [Probably the best policy, with these other turkeys … RW]
That can’t be all to the Zoo … there must be all kinds of interesting fauna in the hobby. We would like to see perhaps other collections of Dip-beasties. They should be both true and humorous (which in this hobby, ain’t hard a-tall).